This post definitely sparked a lot of things in me. I’ve lived in east Asia for 15 years already and unlike many westerners who come here, I didn’t find (nor look for) a group of English speaking friends. I speak Mandarin and Japanese more than English if you don’t count online.
There is so much to say about the values of each country and culture, not only the countries culture but also various groups within each culture.
My experience is that most people in Japan and China admire western culture and many are jealous of it, but the recent trajectory of both American politics and power have changed things for some people.
I actually feel many people have desires similar to when you were young but they don’t actually pursue them. Instead they fantasize. Both individualism and collectivism have their healthy versions and unhealthy versions and then they can interact with each other in a balanced or unbalanced way.
Do you speak Chinese?
I will have to write something about this at some point…but there are so many angles to take. Not only the east vs west thing but also how things are decentralizing and generalizations become less and less applicable.
Over time, I've realised it's less of an admiration (although that clearly exists today) but more of a longing for flexibility. A little bit of freedom to bend the norms and rules, to live a little and find ourselves without expectations.
It's definitely not for everyone. I know some who decide to move back to Asia as they felt more at home there and it was a good wake-up call of what matters more to them in terms of values and culture.
I do speak a tiny bit of Chinese, however I wouldn't consider myself anywhere near fluent (nor conversational at this point) and it isn't a language that I use anywhere close to a daily basis.
Nevertheless, moving abroad regardless of where you're from is something I always advocate for if the opportunity is there. I like putting myself in as many boxes as I can to put myself in the shoes of others and more importantly, learn and grow as a person.
Happy to inspire as always, looking forward to reading it if you do!
Beautifully written. I appreciate your honest reflections and introspection. And can relate similar in my journey. I now have newfound appreciation for Asia, its culture deeply rooted in every facets of our lives. Still searching and still learning. Looking forward to reading more 😌
There's so much I relate to in this piece! I also left Singapore at 18, and lived in a few different countries, spending most of my time in the UK and the US. All the layers and nuances you identified in the cultural differences between East and West resonate with my personal experiences too. Additionally, I've found that while the perception of the West in the East tends to be dominated by the idea of the English-speaking / Anglo Saxon West, there are significant and meaningful cultural differences between them and the non-English speaking / non-Anglo Saxon West, where I now live. I've definitely appreciated how the individualism and openness of the West has brought me to a place where I feel free to reconnect with my heritage and roots on my own terms and in line with my personal values. I think it is in this same place where we get to discover the complex richness of who we are, personally, and even the joy of no longer fitting into any boxes! I love your conclusion about how we should be asking "who are you" instead of "where are you from" - earlier this year, I found myself writing a piece made up of writing my answers to questions like these, when reflecting on the idea of finding belonging when our identities don't neatly fit into a box. Thanks for sharing, and looking forward to reading more!
I've found that there are some cultural similarities between the East and the non-English speaking West, such as, much to my surprise, Latin America. As we age, traveling and living in foreign places becomes so profoundly educational.
I'm glad you feel the same way about your identity and thank you for reading Suyin!
I appreciate your voice, your nuances, and your even-handedness, which I suppose is honesty! I'm a first-generation Asian American who has been living in SE Asia for the past 15 years, so I can understand the feeling of living in two worlds, appreciating both, and that strange sense of 'fitting in'. I'm glad I found you through the Asian Collective. Following!
I resonate with much of what you wrote, since we have similar backgrounds! I've only actively started leaving Malaysia (and returning) at 25, and have only left for real at 30, so it would take some time more before half of me is of the "other".
I somehow feel the need to reconcile "where are you from" with "who are you"; I think I am getting there :) Also, after becoming a mother, I've reflected on all the Asian values that I cherish and respect, and all other values I have gain from my own journey through the world and life, and decide on the set of values that I would like to pass on to my children. It was no easy feat, and there are still contradictions.
Like you say, we should just do away with labels or fitting in boxes, and just be our unique selves. And it is a fluid one, ever transforming, sometimes contradicting...
Most of us go through our unique journey of self-discovery towards unravelling our identities. What I love about the process is that, as you have mentioned, it is ever-changing, and there's simply no fixed box we can put ourselves in.
But I love the way your writing flows and how you transition between different topics are smooth. You language is immaculate too. Just wanted to mention this.
After reading and watching a video @untangledknots, I found your comment and explored your page. It is heart expanding to see through the eyes of another soul who helps bridge Eastern and Western cultures while pointing out good and bad aspects of each. I appreciate your writing. Thank you.
This post definitely sparked a lot of things in me. I’ve lived in east Asia for 15 years already and unlike many westerners who come here, I didn’t find (nor look for) a group of English speaking friends. I speak Mandarin and Japanese more than English if you don’t count online.
There is so much to say about the values of each country and culture, not only the countries culture but also various groups within each culture.
My experience is that most people in Japan and China admire western culture and many are jealous of it, but the recent trajectory of both American politics and power have changed things for some people.
I actually feel many people have desires similar to when you were young but they don’t actually pursue them. Instead they fantasize. Both individualism and collectivism have their healthy versions and unhealthy versions and then they can interact with each other in a balanced or unbalanced way.
Do you speak Chinese?
I will have to write something about this at some point…but there are so many angles to take. Not only the east vs west thing but also how things are decentralizing and generalizations become less and less applicable.
Thank you for stirring me!!!
Over time, I've realised it's less of an admiration (although that clearly exists today) but more of a longing for flexibility. A little bit of freedom to bend the norms and rules, to live a little and find ourselves without expectations.
It's definitely not for everyone. I know some who decide to move back to Asia as they felt more at home there and it was a good wake-up call of what matters more to them in terms of values and culture.
I do speak a tiny bit of Chinese, however I wouldn't consider myself anywhere near fluent (nor conversational at this point) and it isn't a language that I use anywhere close to a daily basis.
Nevertheless, moving abroad regardless of where you're from is something I always advocate for if the opportunity is there. I like putting myself in as many boxes as I can to put myself in the shoes of others and more importantly, learn and grow as a person.
Happy to inspire as always, looking forward to reading it if you do!
Beautifully written. I appreciate your honest reflections and introspection. And can relate similar in my journey. I now have newfound appreciation for Asia, its culture deeply rooted in every facets of our lives. Still searching and still learning. Looking forward to reading more 😌
Thank you! It's a piece that I've always wanted to write about for a while now.
There's definitely more to identity than East meets West, but at least thematically, they hold the starkest contrasts.
The searching and learning process never ends, I guess it is what makes us human.
There's so much I relate to in this piece! I also left Singapore at 18, and lived in a few different countries, spending most of my time in the UK and the US. All the layers and nuances you identified in the cultural differences between East and West resonate with my personal experiences too. Additionally, I've found that while the perception of the West in the East tends to be dominated by the idea of the English-speaking / Anglo Saxon West, there are significant and meaningful cultural differences between them and the non-English speaking / non-Anglo Saxon West, where I now live. I've definitely appreciated how the individualism and openness of the West has brought me to a place where I feel free to reconnect with my heritage and roots on my own terms and in line with my personal values. I think it is in this same place where we get to discover the complex richness of who we are, personally, and even the joy of no longer fitting into any boxes! I love your conclusion about how we should be asking "who are you" instead of "where are you from" - earlier this year, I found myself writing a piece made up of writing my answers to questions like these, when reflecting on the idea of finding belonging when our identities don't neatly fit into a box. Thanks for sharing, and looking forward to reading more!
You raise a good point!
I've found that there are some cultural similarities between the East and the non-English speaking West, such as, much to my surprise, Latin America. As we age, traveling and living in foreign places becomes so profoundly educational.
I'm glad you feel the same way about your identity and thank you for reading Suyin!
I appreciate your voice, your nuances, and your even-handedness, which I suppose is honesty! I'm a first-generation Asian American who has been living in SE Asia for the past 15 years, so I can understand the feeling of living in two worlds, appreciating both, and that strange sense of 'fitting in'. I'm glad I found you through the Asian Collective. Following!
Thank you for your kind words! I enjoy being open and honest about my cultural experiences :)
I resonate with much of what you wrote, since we have similar backgrounds! I've only actively started leaving Malaysia (and returning) at 25, and have only left for real at 30, so it would take some time more before half of me is of the "other".
I somehow feel the need to reconcile "where are you from" with "who are you"; I think I am getting there :) Also, after becoming a mother, I've reflected on all the Asian values that I cherish and respect, and all other values I have gain from my own journey through the world and life, and decide on the set of values that I would like to pass on to my children. It was no easy feat, and there are still contradictions.
Like you say, we should just do away with labels or fitting in boxes, and just be our unique selves. And it is a fluid one, ever transforming, sometimes contradicting...
Hi Rachel, thanks for your comment!
Most of us go through our unique journey of self-discovery towards unravelling our identities. What I love about the process is that, as you have mentioned, it is ever-changing, and there's simply no fixed box we can put ourselves in.
I don't have an experience to relate.
But I love the way your writing flows and how you transition between different topics are smooth. You language is immaculate too. Just wanted to mention this.
Thank you!
It felt natural writing this but I did have to move things around a little to ensure it flowed well :)
After reading and watching a video @untangledknots, I found your comment and explored your page. It is heart expanding to see through the eyes of another soul who helps bridge Eastern and Western cultures while pointing out good and bad aspects of each. I appreciate your writing. Thank you.
Thank you for reading Tina!